We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize