even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You took a bar mat shot.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
