Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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