You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
