I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
