If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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