walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
