we made out on top of his cat.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
