I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
