I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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