if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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