this just has baby written all over it
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
