the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You work out of a Hotel?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Randomize
