I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
