i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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