I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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