"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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