I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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