Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize