It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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