she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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