I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
being pregnant is like rehab
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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