the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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