I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
