Me too!
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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