I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
