I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
time to smoke my breakfast
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
