K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
