For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
