rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
