No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
