He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
