i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It's never too late to be topless.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
