hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
