Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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