Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
