We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
