girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
