My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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