i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize