i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
