their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
is wine microwaveable?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
