ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I can't turn off my feet"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
