My room smells like vodka and shame
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
