I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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