Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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