You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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