Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
