Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
