If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
