I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Randomize
