Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
