I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
