Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
