She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
