Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
