lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
