I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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