if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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