Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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