Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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