you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We need to get me chipped asap
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
