Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
