THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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