Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
