Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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