The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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