if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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