he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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