Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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