Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
