I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
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