Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
