it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
