Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
