i would punch a child for taco bell
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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