That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Randomize
