I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize