I smell stomach acid.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
