Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
false alarm. still invincible.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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