life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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