u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
