If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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