its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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